How Boudoir Saved My Life: A Journey To Being Confident
by Linda Marie
We all begin to lose our confidence at some point in our lives and that point came for me after getting pregnant and gaining a lot of weight. We are talking, 90 pounds in 9 months! I went from the “Hot girl” to the “overweight mother” so fast it made my head spin. I stayed
home all the time and cut myself off from all my friends until I was all alone. I got used to hating myself and I no longer even bothered trying to find things I liked about me. I just accepted my self-hatred as a fact. Something that I thought would never change. But I was so wrong. Let me tell you how I began to gain my confidence back!
It started out small, while I was on Facebook one day. I came across a photo of a confident plus size woman and I saw how alike our bodies were and how beautiful hers was and how she was so comfortable in her skin. That woman was Bianca Bombshell. I followed her page as she grew from amazing selfies to a top plus size model and I wanted to feel her kind of confidence for myself. Through her facebook profile page, I found a world of women promoting self-love and being comfortable just the way they were! Not just plus size women but women off all shapes and sizes coming together, lifting each other up and letting everyone know it is OK to be different and everyone is beautiful. So in 2011 when my family photographer decided she wanted to try her hand at boudoir shoots I jumped on the chance.
My mother and I convinced each other it would be fun and worth a try. It couldn’t hurt…could it? We searched through Bianca’s photos to get inspiration for our shoot and went shopping for lingerie and fun little accessories. We dolled ourselves up at home, with many laughs and lots of nervous excitement in the air. Even the preparation for our shoot has become one of my most cherished memory. The room we were shooting in was very small and got hot very fast, but with the backdrops and props all around us our excitement level was through the roof and so were my nerves. We took turns changing outfits and being in front of the camera. When it was my turn, I remember the most amazing thing happening to me. I forgot to hate my body. I pretty much forgot my body existed, as weird as that sounds. I was more focused on my facial expressions, poses and for the first time in years, I didn’t critically analyze my stomach, thighs, and butt for what was wrong with them. I felt perfect and comfortable in my own skin. That feeling lasted for days and I was really OK with how I was until the day came to go view the results of our boudoir shoot. I instantly found myself judging my body and focusing on my flaws. I was so sure the pictures would be a complete failure. I thought I wouldn’t be pretty. What had I been thinking putting myself out there like that when all that I would be in the end is embarrassed! But to my surprise, the girl in the photos looked con dent and happy; at ease in her own skin. That was me! That is who I wanted to be, and who I was beginning to realize I may have been all along. I finally realized that while I had changed I was still beautiful in a whole new way. And I liked it!
I started doing boudoir shoots every month! As many as I could! I loved the confidence boost every single boudoir shoot gave me. I decided that it was time to show my friends and family what was making me feel so good about myself. I made my Facebook page, originally called Con dent and Loving Myself, and I shared my photos there. The response from my friends and family was so amazing and some of my girlfriends were inspired to try boudoir shoots for themselves. I found out that a photoshoot is twice as fun when you have a friend with you and it sure was nice to have friends again. A lot of my old friends I really did lose forever but a few of them knew that I would make my way out of the darkness and those are the friends I still cherish til this day.
With my new found confidence I decided to share a picture from my first shoot with Bianca Bombshell since she had inspired me to do it. I didn’t really expect any response but she loved my photo and even shared it on her page! I was shocked to wake up the next day to nd my page had gone from just around 200 likes on my page to over 2000 of them. People were telling me how con dent I looked and how just seeing me putting myself out there was an inspiration to them to love themselves a little more! I received a lot of messages asking how to go about do- ing boudoir shoots and where I buy my outfits. I love interacting with these women and even had some men asking me questions because they want to help their wives feel better and have more confidence, like me.
I feel like I am making an impact, although it may not reach the entire population, may reach my fan base. Confidence spreads like wildfire. Bianca’s confidence sparked my confidence and in turn, I began to spark others. My honest belief and hope are that those women will continue to spread confidence to the people in their lives. Women building up other women is the way things are meant to be.
So, for me at least, it must be said that boudoir truly saved my life. It set me on an exciting and empowering path. I can’t wait to see what the future has in store for me! So try something new and exciting.It could just start you down your own path to something amazing!
~ Linda Marie